Tired

Perhaps it's daylight savings or that I forgot to drink water and eat properly for a week or more, but I'm knackered at the moment. I will write, I swear!! I WILL!!

Ok, I'll try to write.

Tonight my MS eye hurts, which it sometimes does if I've been stressed or anxious - but it usually goes away if I have some down time.

I was meant to have an MRI yesterday for a retinal vein occlusion, but it got entirely bollocksed up - with hospital staff trying to sedate my claustrophobia while I tried to convince them that they'd misread my notes got both the procedure and the referring department entirely incorrect. In the end I was so tense they couldn't sedate me enough to stop me from freaking out every time they tried to load me into the chamber. So I have to have a GA apparently. Goodness knows when, I've already waited about 10 months for the sedation appointment.

Also, randomly, the previous owner of the house I'm renting decided to come over on Saturday night, drunk, and demand possession of the property and when I refused to give her access to the house, smashed my pots and plants until the police arrived.

Perhaps there is a good reason why I'm tired.

Thinking... thinking... thinking...

I've been thinking (I know, I know - too obvious). I've been thinking that it may seem like I'm more depressed recently. For the last two weeks I have not:

• done the dishes (seriously, my kitchen is now a biohazard uncontainment area)
• washed my hair (ok, that's only 10 days, TEN DAYS)
• pretty much any other chores

I've interrogated my mind brain several times and the feedback is "no, it's not worsening depression". I'm absolutely certain my grey matter is working on the project of getting myself better and it has absolutely no time for anything else. I've asked and asked, thought and thought, and the same answer keeps coming back. I've been reading and undertaking exercises relating to Transactional Analysis so it would be logical to expect I'm doing a lot of thinking. So far it's not huge epiphany thinking - it's something working hard in the background.

It's like my brain's got my psyche steam engine back into tentative working order and every time I ask my brain to organise the dishes or wash my hair it turns up agitated, sweaty, filthy and abrupt - insisting it must go back to shovelling coal or my psyche will fail again.

After rereading that last paragraph, perhaps it's not depression... but brain worms.

RSVP

Dear Blogger

I'm am cordially declining attendance of tonight's daily blog as I'm too incompetent to come up with something decent to add.

Yours retardedly, Webwhore

Anatomy - FAIL

I was reading Twitter recently and ended up on Sarah Silverman's account and then clicked on a woman she follows, only to read a twitter entry that incorrectly referenced "vagina" when the woman obviously meant "vulva". I find it disappointing when women are unable to label their own anatomy correctly - they're probably the ones that end up dating someone who also doesn't know how to use that anatomy correctly (and then think they have the right to complain).

Then, today, Sarah Silverman (on her own show) used the term "vagina" when she clearly meant "vulva".

It's always a pity when you think someone is funny and smart and then they turn out to be a complete stupidhead and an embarrassment to all women.

For anybody who does not know, the vulva is the external area of a the female genitalia. The VAGINA is where the baby comes out of (PG).

Sensationalising -101

I have just watched a documentary about AJ Bannister. I have very mixed feelings about the decision to have even made the documentary.

While I believe everyone deserves a fair trial and I do not condone injustices - I feel martyring this person's life given the history of his previous crimes and the one that eventually resulted in his death sentence to be doing an injustice to those that are put to death when they haven't committed any crime apart, but were merely in the wrong place at the wrong time.

What could be the good sense in muddying the waters of the hard fight to free innocent people from a life behind bars, or worse, death.

Brain - FAIL

It could be the painkillers I've taken, but my brain is empty tonight and three attempts to blog have been thwarted by my malfunctioning grey matter. So I think I'll just go straight to bed and watch Supernatural with Hermes.

Oh, I have moved onto the other side of the bed to see if it sorts out the pelvis ache I have from sleeping slightly tilted on the middle slat. I think it's working so far, but downsides are:

1. The cats are causing even more problems than usual sorting out sleeping arrangements.
2. Bedside light is unavailable so I can't eyeball them when they're punching each other up about the above (or if Ares is staring at me in the night - creepy special skill).

Seriously, this entry is pants.

Not many, if any

I have very little to say this evening. We have a low snow warning in place (not that it WILL snow here) and it's blimming cold - we don't bother with insulation, central heating, carpet or double glazing at my house. Both cats are in the bed and the bird needs to shut up and go to sleep.

I'm not going to promise to add to this post tomorrow, as it won't happen.

BUT, I can try and think of something better for tomorrow night.

Note to self, check Ares fur before he demands to get in the bed with you - saturated cat twice in one evening is only proving he's smarter than you are.